Real change doesn't happen that often...It is possible though.
All you really need in order to change anything in your life is the right framework, and someone to skilfully hold you in that place until it works.
I'm convinced that the transformational coaching framework creates the most leverage for change possible.
Here is why.
These 12 themes or coaching processes are non-negotables of facilitating lasting transformation. Great coaches ALWAYS hold the space for their clients around these principles.
In no particular order
1. 100% responsibility. You results are your results. You are not a victim. Blame and excuse is natural and enjoyable but it gives you zero power to change your situation. You are an adult. You are not broken. You created these current results to achieve a specific intention, so you could change them and create different results as soon as you are ready.
Great coaches bring absolutely no wanting to the table. Wanting others to change and grow is a form of judgement and totally undermines clients taking responsibility for their own lives.
2. 100% choice. You are exactly where you have chosen to be. You get to choose everything that matters. If you have more choice, you will make better choices. Letting go of the illusion of no choice brings hope to any situation.
3. Well formed outcomes. What specifically would you like to have happen? What is the intention behind what you want and what are the consequences of getting what you want? The moment the conversation moves away from a focus on outcomes it stops being a coaching conversation and all leverage for change is gone.
4. Relevant high performance state. What state do you need to be in to access each particular outcome? State is king, if you can control your state, you can control your outcomes.
5. Being precedes doing. Who do you need to be in order to achieve your desired outcomes? You can show up in the world as who ever you want to be. Identity is a fluid concept. All we have in life is story. People who succeed just tell better stories than those who don't. Everything is created twice. You will have to believe it and see it as a concrete reality in your mind before you will experience that reality manifest in your world.
6. Separating behaviour from intention. You are not your behaviour. Every negative behaviour has a positive intention and is always about meeting a core need. To change behaviour therefore it is crucial to explore the intention of the behaviour and design a new strategy that meets the original intention and is also aligned to the desired outcome and core values.
7. Awareness. If you can't see it, you can't change it. High quality questions and curiosity in a judgement free space. Language patterns are an accurate window into subconscious programs. New awareness always brings more choice.
8. Rapport with self. Sustainable change comes when you work with yourself and build great rapport with yourself rather than fighting against yourself. This requires you to develop a reliable internal communication system.
9. Internal success and significance. Letting of external attachment and defining yourself by your roles, relationships, possessions, achievements, performance etc taking 100% ownership of your own value and worth rather than needing validation, approval or acceptance from your external world.
10. Limiting beliefs. Every issue in your life ultimately comes back to a limiting belief about self. Lasting change comes though facing limiting beliefs discovering their origins and replacing them with empowering beliefs capable of getting you more of what you want.
11. Secondary gain. Letting go of all the benefits and rewards of living with blame and excuse. Every thing we complain about or tolerate but do not change must be working for you. You can take your power back the moment you are willing to part with treasures you received for giving it away in the first place.
12. Engaging the subconscious throughout the process. Great coaching that facilitates genuine transformation is all about creating agreement and alignment between the clients conscious and subconscious.
More information about my transformational coach training here: http://jaeminfrazer.com/training/