Why Self-Deception is the Hidden Driver of Workplace Trauma
In the corporate world, we often think of trauma as the result of major, catastrophic events. The truth is more subtle. Trauma does not only come from what happens to us. It often comes from what we suppress, deny, or ignore.
When people feel they must lie to themselves in order to stay in a role, a culture, or a relationship, trauma is inevitable. Living out of alignment with your own values, emotions, and needs always creates internal conflict.
The Cost of Lying to Ourselves at Work
In workplaces, this shows up when:
Employees tell themselves they are “fine” while quietly burning out.
Leaders downplay their stress in order to appear strong.
Teams ignore cultural problems and keep pushing through.
People stay silent about misalignment because they fear labels like “difficult” or “not a team player.”
On the surface, this looks like resilience. In reality, it is self-deception. Over time, self-deception erodes trust with yourself, breaks down mental health, and shows up as anxiety, disengagement, absenteeism, or physical illness.
Trauma as a Relationship Problem
The simplest definition of trauma is the breaking of relationship with yourself. When we suppress natural human responses such as frustration, sadness, or fear, we treat ourselves in ways we would never treat a colleague or a loved one. Eventually, the subconscious has no choice but to force change through physical symptoms such as chronic illness, depression or burnout to cause you to finally exit the unsafe situation.
This is why trauma in the workplace is not just a personal issue. It is an organisational issue. If people are required to lie to themselves to remain in their role, the hidden costs will always exceed the visible ones.
The Leadership Opportunity
The good news is that organisations can play a powerful role in reversing this pattern. Leaders can create cultures where:
Psychological safety is the norm.
Honest conversations are valued more than polished appearances.
Employees are encouraged to align their work with their true values and strengths.
Permission is given to rest, recalibrate, and seek help early.
When individuals learn to tell themselves the truth and are supported by environments that reinforce honesty, the result is healthier people, stronger teams, and organisations that thrive sustainably.
The Bottom Line
At its core, trauma is not only about the big events we endure. It is about what happens when we are forced to lie to ourselves about those events.
For individuals, the invitation is clear: stop lying to yourself. Pay attention to the signals your mind and body are sending. Trust them.
For organisations, the opportunity is even clearer: build cultures where honesty is safe, alignment is possible, and people do not have to choose between their wellbeing and their work.
The costs of staying in the lie are always higher than the costs of facing the truth.
