How not to be an insecure wanker 

1. Stop pretending you are not insecure.

It’s OK… Everyone has insecurities. It is the human condition. Untreated though, it always leads to madness. Good people consistently hurting themselves and others through decisions made out of neediness and defensiveness.

At the moment, the fear of being found out as somehow inadequate is hampering your decision making process and causing you to behave like a wanker. It’s ok, we all know you’re not really a wanker, but your insecurities are causing you to behave like one.

2. Make a decision to face up to life and own your fear.

If you don’t deal with your insecurities they will consume you. Look around. See what happens for yourself. Tell me it’s not true. Friends and family, operating out of their insecurity are constant reminders of what happens if you don’t deal with your shit. Messy, ugly, painful stuff. Go into a room full of mirrors and have a good hard look at yourself. Is this really who you want to be? Sure there is pain involved with change, but there is also great pain involved in staying the same.

3. Invite someone into your world to guide you through the process of lasting change.

 It is highly unlikely you will be able to overcome this on your own. One of the most important ingredients you need in order to stop being an insecure wanker is objectivity. While this fear feels so all-consuming and powerful, your insecurity is actually based entirely on a work of fiction. At some point in the history of being you, something has gone down in your world and you’ve decided that it meant that in someway you were not enough. This has become the story you’ve lived out of for the rest of your life. It feels so true and real simply because you’re brain’s job is to gather evidence for whatever you believe is true. Everything else get’s filtered out.

The cool thing is that it’s just a story. It’s not actually who you are, yet you’ll need someone in your world who can give you the gift of doubt to help you deconstruct this story so you can see through it.

You’ve actually always been enough and always will be.