Episode 166. 10 minute Tuesday - Live as though your father is dead.

What would happen if you lived as though your father was dead?

Father of modern psychotherapy, Sigmund Freud, observed that a human’s greatest challenge was to break free from the nest. He taught that there were great forces at play working against this freedom both in the parent and in the child, but that ultimately all dysfunction in life came through this tendency to get stuck within the family bounds.

In reference to Freuds idea, David Deida says therefore a man should live as though his father is dead. That is - A man must love his father and yet be free of his father’s expectations and criticisms in order to be a free man.

He says ‘How would you have lived your life differently if you had never tried to please your father? If you never tried to show your father that you were worthy? If you never felt burdened by your father’s critical eye? For the next three days, do at least one activity a day that you have avoided or suppressed because of the influence of your father. In this way, practice being free of his subtle expectations, which may now reside within your own self-judgment. Practice being free in this way, once each day for three days, even if you still feel fearful, limited, unworthy, or burdened by your father’s expectations.’

This podcast episode is in no way designed to undermine your relationship with your father or to be ungrateful for his contribution to your life. It is simply to understand your need to stand on his shoulders and grow beyond his life as you live your own.