The 7 biggest mistakes people make when trying to change their lives. Here is how to avoid them
So many people are frustrated by years of failed attempts of changing their behaviour.
Here are the top 7 most common mistakes people make when trying to change their life.
See which ones might describe you.
1. Behaviour management.
Trying to change your behaviour, emotions or thinking without dealing with the underlying beliefs that have created these results in the first place is like tying to kill an apple tree by picking the fruit off it.
2. Self discipline.
The typical and most often used change strategy of trying harder, being better, committing to more effort, energy and focus works really well...until you get tired. Again this is just dealing with change on the surface level. It never leads to sustainable change
3. Still living out of an old story.
Trying to improve the quality of your life without changing the story you are living out of can never work. The story you live out of dictates how life goes for you.
4. Self judgment.
Beating yourself up and applying the drill sergeant approach - "Just harden the f#ck up solder and get on with it" never works. Instead it just causes you to live out of fear and pretence. People end up suppressing what is really going on hiding from their reality.
5. Trying to conquer themselves.
Fighting against yourself is so horribly mean and unfair I can't understand how this idea is used by SO many people to try and get ahead. Simply awful.
6. Being unaware of the rewards of living in dysfunction.
Until someone becomes aware of the payoff they get for living in a place they say they don't like, they will ultimately keep gravitating back to it because it works for them.
7. Believing there is something wrong with you.
The fear that there is some hopeless, bad, rebellious, dangerous part of you ready to ruin your life at any moment if you let it, is another horrible and mean change strategy. Change comes through understanding and loving yourself not by hating and overcoming yourself
When you are ready for real and lasting change. There is a clear process that is both simple and hard that works EVERY time you follow the process through.
I promise you it is the complete opposite of everything listed above.
HOW TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE
Here are three things you can start doing today
1. Realise you are not broken.
You are exactly where you have chosen to be. The results you are getting in every area of life are the EXACT results you have designed your system to produce. Of course you are where you are. There is nothing wrong with you. The key is to stop judging yourself for being here, and stop running away from being her and to finally understand exactly why you ARE here.
2. Realise you are not a victim.
You results are your results. Blame and excuse are fun and easy, but they give away all your power leaving you entirely helpless. Change comes when you take 100% responsibility for where you are now and where you'd like to be.
3. Realise you are not your behaviour.
EVERY negative behaviour has a positive intention. We are very quick to label ourselves and others by what we do, yet all behaviour is an attempt to meet un underlying need. Only when you discover the intention of the behaviour, can you then design a new strategy to meet the original need in a way that is also in line with the way you would like to live. Be kind and work with yourself rather than tying to fight against or dominate yourself.
If you are serious about making lasting change, I'm running a 30 day online bootcamp to help people get the breakthroughs they are looking for.
High quality coaching using the best tools for change in the game.
More info here: www.jaeminfrazer.com
Change may take a long time coming, but it happens in a moment...